I love road trips. We plan our route, make our playlist, and pack snacks. While we usually have a final destination, most of the memorable events happen because we got lost or got ourselves in a bit of trouble.
My life for the last 22 years has been like one wonderful, horrible, crazy, fantastic, scary road trip. I knew what I wanted. I had three beautiful daughters and I wanted to raise them the very best I could. Each day I wanted to be a better woman and mother than I was the day before. And when it came to school, I wanted them home with me. Not because I had some fundamental teaching method or because I hated the public school system. I simply adored my children and loved watching them learn. I didn’t want to miss a thing. So year after year, I would plan school for my girls. A few years ago, I graduated my oldest and she went off to college. Then I graduated my middle girl. This year is the last year I will teach my sweet baby girl. Next year, she too will go off to college and begin her adult life.
I feel so very proud. I am not going to lie. It was a lot of work. In many ways, I can’t believe I did it. I often joke that they turned out to be great women in spite of me. And while that isn’t entirely true, there are places in my heart that believes that. My girls are amazing women. Far better women than I could have ever imagined raising. My big, long journey went much better than I could have ever planned.
But now what? I feel like I don’t know what is next. I feel like I went on this adventure of a lifetime and nothing will ever be able to compare. What could ever be better than watching three little girls turn into funny, smart, talented women that I love to hang out with? What adventure can top that? And to make matters worse, I haven’t a journey planned.
So here I am without a map or a destination but the heartfelt desire for an adventure. I feel like I was on a road trip through California. I had all the maps, the perfect playlist, and fantastic snacks. I took pictures, made memories, and saw all the important sights. And now, suddenly, I am at the Oregan – California border. California has been amazing. But more than that, I don’t have a map for Oregon. I don’t’ know what to see. I don’t know where to eat. I have the slightest idea and where to go or what to do.
While processing this with my Spiritual Director, she said something I can’t forget. She suggested that maybe I don’t’ need a map. Maybe everything I have learned up to this point has taught me everything I will need for my next big adventure. Could that be true? I hope so. Because you know what, I am ready. I am going to blast my favorite playlist and move forward in the direction my heart is going to take me. Am I afraid? You bet. But I am excited for every wonderful, horrible, crazy, fantastic, scary turn. Yes, I am ready for my next adventure.
I am doing this blogroll with some amazing women. Start with Cissy’s blog and then click on through.
* All photos were taken with my iPhone on the last road trip I went on up the west coast through California, Oregon, and Washington.