5 on 5: December

I am a little late to the party.  I was sick and couldn’t get to scanning my film.  I got to one roll and have picked my favorite from that.  This is all Kodak Portra 400 taken with James, my Hasselblad.

 

I went on a date with my hubby to Descanso Gardens.  I love our little adventures.

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5on5december-5

I was invited to a gingerbread house building party.  The set up was amazing! They had all the gingerbread cooked and ready. The frosting was whipped to perfection.  The candy buckets were full and plentiful.

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5on5december

Good-bye December.  Good-bye 2014. You were wonderful to me.

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Hope on over to my sweet friend’s blog. Vanessa is so talented, you won’t want to miss her favorites.

the hours

This last year I have had the honor of participating in a collaborative blog called The Hours.  The concept was simple.  Each photographer would submit one photo taken at the same hour each month.  We started with 7 am in January and went through he hours of the day as the months passed.  It was wonderful to watch women and families wake up all over the world.  With each new month, the hour changed and the mood of the blog changed with it.  Each photographer brought a piece of her life to the project.

Here are my selections from The Hours.

7am

January, 7am

8am

February, 8am

9am

March, 9am

10am

April, 10am

11am

May, 11am

12pm

June, 12pm

1pm

July, 1pm

2pm

August, 2pm

3pm

September, 3pm

4pm

October, 4pm

5pm

November, 5pm

6pm

December, 6pm

 

I have loved this project and am excited to do it again in 2015.

waste not

While out shooting with some friends, we fell into Nick Metropolis “The King of Collectable”.  Nick has been buying, selling, and renting collectable furniture for over 20 years.  While I was there, I got to meet him. He is a very kind man and full of personality.  His motto is, “Love is all there is.”

As soon as I saw the colors, I knew I had load a roll of Fuji Reala.  I only have a few more rolls of the film, so I keep saving it for moments like this one.   I hope you enjoy my little walk through Nick Metropolis’ shop.

Nick's-3Nick's Nick's-2 Nick's-4Nick's-11 Nick's-8 Nick's-5Nick's-10 Nick's-6 Nick's-7 Nick's-9

 

There were so many treasures to find.  It felt more like a museum than a store.  I am looking forward to going again.

The LOVE sign might be my favorite from this roll.  I would love to hear which one stands out to you.

enough

The first time I do anything, I am a bundle of nerves.  I like knowing exactly what to expect and how it will look and feel.  When I had the opportunity to show my work in a gallery for the first time, all my nerves got together and decided to throw a party.   After all the big decisions of what to show and getting my photos down to the curator, I had the smaller decisions to make.  What do I wear?  How early do I get there?  How late do I stay? What will I feel like afterwards?  I started reading blog posts and articles on the subject.  One recurring theme was the warning of the let down after the show was over.  Let down?  I just reached my big goal for 2014 and I am going to feel let down?

 

gallpost

 

Yes, yes I am. A few days after the show, a sadness crept over me.  I have spent some time processing it and I think I landed on why I am feeling this sadness and disappointment.  When I imagined my photos hanging on the walls of a public building, I imagined my heart knowing…. really knowing… that I was a photographer. Somehow, I thought I would believe in myself more.  I imagined that my heart and mind would change the way I felt about my work.  However, my heart and mind did not change that quickly.

 

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With some time, change did come.  For the first time in my journey of taking photographs, I realized wanted to please myself.  I think any photographer, or any artist, would say this is a huge shift in thinking.  Suddenly, what I think of myself and my work is the most important thing. I have finally answered the questions, “What am doing with my photography? What is reason behind each click?”  Ready for it?  I take photos because I love it. And with each click, I see light dancing on something and I must capture it.

Does this mean I don’t care what other people think of my photography or that I don’t want to hear if it moves them? No.  Every artist loves to hear those things. We long to inspire others.  We hope we touch hearts.  It means that I also long to inspire myself. It means I have become my own muse.  My love for light is all there is, and it is enough.

the painful roll

 

pain

 

While away on my 20th anniversary road trip, we traveled the Historic Route 30.  It was green and lush. We couldn’t take enough pictures.  With each snap of my Hasselblad’s shutter, I would think to myself, “This will be my favorite roll.”   I believed it to be true… until pulled the film cassette out and saw that I had never loaded a roll at all.

 

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How could this be?  I just sat there, my heart beating, knowing that each shot was now lost for ever.  The small flowers….. the wet road…. the vibrant green ferns…. they were never captured.

 

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As I sat there, Andy began to console me.  He knew my pain.  He had a roll ruined earlier on the trip and knew the shock of it all.  I remember the five minutes we just sat silently in the car… me holding my empty magazine and him holding me.  Words and actions were not needed.  I knew he understood my disappointment and sadness and it made the weight of it all easier to bear.

 

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After a few minutes of mourning, I dried my tears and put in a new roll.  Andy went back to a few stops I especially liked so I could “recapture” it all.   It wasn’t the same, but it did help me feel better. That is the thing about pain, when someone sits in it with you, without rushing you to move on, you seem to be able to hold it easier. And with that extra dose of power, you seem to be able to let it go and go forward.  It is especially nice when the person is willing for you to go back and redo the road marked with pain, because we all need a mulligan every once and agin.

 

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To read more about pain, go to Allison’s blog, and then continue through the blog roll.